Episode 9: Cut Throat 11/9

This week’s episode of Survivor was way over-hyped in promos, but that’s not to say it wasn’t great.  I appreciated the fast-forward, since both eliminations were fairly obvious, and it saved us from an extra episode’s worth of Jim whining (more on that later).

Ozzy Voted Out

Ozzy’s banishment to Redemption Island was the best case scenario for everyone, I think. Upolu (and Cochran) eliminated a huge challenge threat.  All the remaining Savaii members dodged a bullet.  Ozzy, at least for now, can play the game without his self-righteousness and utter lack of social skills getting in the way.  We, the viewers, are being given a break from his his delusional spewing.  It’s a win-win-win-win.

This probably goes without saying, but Ozzy is far too confident about his chances on Redemption Island.  The duels are not run-of-the-mill Survivor obstacle courses.  They typically require some degree of mental ability, which Ozzy clearly lacks.  And now that they’ve merged, he’ll be up against much more worthy opponents.

What Happened to Jim?

I was really starting to like Jim up until he called Cochran a coward two weeks ago.  And no, that’s not just because I’m a Cochran fantard (which I am).  Up until the merge, Jim made it abundantly clear that he was willing to slit any throats necessary to advance himself in the game.  And yet, when someone (Cochran) did it to him, Jim’s all of a sudden on a soapbox made of integrity and righteousness?  Please.  He’s my least favorite type of Survivor player–the one who can dish it out but can’t take it.

He really screwed up with his “rousing speech” strategy, too.  When has that EVER worked?  I get that he was backed into a corner and pretty much had no other options, but the fact that he had even slight confidence in that plan is totally baffling.

Other Stuff

• Upolu is still solid at this point, but you can see the cracks starting to form.  They’re an alliance of 5 type-A people (and Rick), so I wouldn’t be surprised at all if some splinter groups form within the next couple of weeks.
• I’m curious how the 3 people on RI thing will play out, because I do recall Jeff Probst saying in an interview (or on twitter, I forget) that there would only be two-person duels this season.
• Cochran should stop wearing Coach’s blazer.  He looks like a toddler in it.
• Actually, Coach should stop wearing Coach’s blazer too. He looks like a douche in it.
• The budding bromance between Cochran and Brandon is absolutely bizarre.  I don’t think it’ll last.

Taste the Victory 10/12

Survivor: South Pacific delivered yet again last night.  They’re showing significantly less Redemption Island footage this season, allowing for more time to develop the plot in the “real” game.  Whether this was an intentional format change or simply a coincidence, I don’t know.  But I like it.

Redemption Island

The episode started out with Stacey and Christine griping on RI.  Stacey is a bitter bitch, but she makes me laugh.  She said her tribe was “going to hell with gasoline drawers on,” for chrissake.  Where does she come up with this stuff?  Once she got into her whole “Benjamin” speech at the duel, though, it became apparent that she’s legitimately off her rocker and should probably be medicated.  Her one-liners will be missed.

Coach “Don’t Call Me Benjamin” Wade

Coach seems to have erased a lot of his progress this week.  For the past few episodes he’s been coming across as a lot more mature, sane, and likable than past seasons.  But last night, Coach was back to doing Coach things (calling himself “Dragon” after finding the idol, for example).  It’s only a matter of time before the stories about pygmy cannibals start up again.  Sigh.

Middle-Aged Ozzy

Over on Savaii, Ozzy continues to prove that he’s learned nothing from his past failures in this game.  He’s still the same old judgmental, narcissistic guy he always was, only now he’s older and less in-shape.  He really thought he was running the game up until Elyse was blindsided, and I was happy to see him knocked down a few pegs. I can’t wait to see how that whole storyline unfolds next week, and I’m sure he’ll be needing his hidden immunity idol soon enough.

Whose Meat Weighs the Most?

The immunity challenge made the middle schooler in me giggle.  It was one “That’s what she said” after another.  Who doesn’t love a good inadvertent penis joke (or twenty)?  Both teams fought hard to fit the most meat in their mouths (teehee), but ultimately, Upolu’s meat was more massive (haha) and they won immunity.  They also won reward, which consisted of spices, veggies, and all 22 pounds of regurgitated meat from the challenge.  Yum.

Coch-Train Survives Again

While I would have loved to see Ozzy go last night, Savaii needs to keep their tribe strong until the merge, so Elyse was the next best thing.  I think they made a wise decision.  I do, however, think that Keith & Whitney were dumb to vote for Dawn.  I know they were trying to avoid ruffling any feathers, but being non-committal like that often has the opposite effect. They’ve made it clear that they’re not really loyal to either side, and wild cards can be perceived as very threatening in this game.

I’ll be interested to see who wins the duel next week.  I’m also very excited to see how Ozzy handles the realization that he’s not running the game anymore.  I can’t wait for next week’s episode!

POV Competition and Ceremony! 8/5 (live feed spoilers)

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds.  If you want to wait until Wednesday’s episode to find out who won veto and how it was used, read no further.  Otherwise, it’s all after the jump!

Pandora’s Box Strikes Again! 8/2 (live feed spoilers)

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds.  If you want to wait until Sunday to see the new HOH and whether or not he/she opens Pandora’s Box, then read no further!  Otherwise, it’s all after the jump!

HOH Results! 8/1 (live feed spoilers)

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds.  If you want to wait until Sunday to find out who won HOH, then read no further!  Otherwise, it’s all after the jump!

Rupert running for office?!

According to yahoo.com, Rupert Boneham (of Survivor: Pearl Islands, All-Stars, and Heroes vs. Villains) is considering running for governor in his home state of Indiana.  Specifically, he’s considering jockeying for the Libertarian nomination. He believes that he, more than the other candidates, understands the issues facing everyday Indianans.

In case you forget who he is (but really, how could you?), Rupert won fans’ hearts in Pearl Islands with his bushy beard, tye-dye shirts, lack of shame with regard to wearing a floral-print skirt (to prevent chafing), enthusiastic shouting, and general teddy bear-like demeanor.  He won a million bucks from America as the fan favorite in All-Stars, and he used the money to establish Rupert’s Kids, a non-profit organization to help troubled teens get their lives back on track.

Rupert seems like a really awesome guy, and he’s one of the most popular Survivors of all time, but let’s get real–he doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell to become governor.  Running as a Libertarian + looking like Hagrid from the Harry Potter movies + no real qualifications = no frickin’ way.

I love you, Rupert, but don’t hold your breath.

 

Survivor: South Pacific Cast Breakdown!

The cast of Survivor: South Pacific has been released on CBS.com, and it looks like a pretty diverse and interesting group of people!  We already know that Coach and Ozzy will be returning, and I’ve made my feelings on each of them pretty well known, so I want to take a look at everyone else.  Just like this season of Big Brother, we’ve got a pretty wide range in ages.  It seems like CBS is stepping away from the usual group of 20somethings with just a couple older folks thrown in.  The two tribes are called Upolu and Savaii.  This year is going to be another cast of 18, so let’s take a look at the 16 newbies!  I’m just giving you the highlights of each person’s bio, so if you want to read their full bios, check out CBS.com!

There’s a LOT to cover, so let’s dive right in!

Shelly’s family receiving death threats over her game play!

This is scary.  According to reality blurred and TMZ, since Jeff’s eviction last Thursday, Shelly Moore’s family has become the brunt of a despicable smear campaign at the hands of mentally unstable Jordeff fans and other internet creeps.

People have posted her phone number, work number and other personal information on several message boards, urging others to contact her family and colleagues and make their hatred known.  Some have even reported Shelly to Child Protective Services, making claims that she’s abusing her eight year-old daughter, Josie.  Shelly’s family has even received death threats.

I’m not going to get into the specifics of what people are saying about Shelly and her family because it’s seriously libelous and insane.  Shelly’s family is taking the threats very seriously and planning to involve the FBI.  As they should–I certainly wouldn’t take any chances with internet crazies.

This is seriously disgusting.  I understand that people get emotionally invested in Big Brother, and that we have opinions about the cast, and that it’s frustrating when someone you like is booted by someone you dislike, but COME ON.  Turning that into a campaign to get her fired from her job and have her child taken away is horrendous.  I don’t really like Shelly as far as the game goes, but I definitely don’t condone any of what people are saying and doing as a result of their feelings.

Former BB players and other reality stars are posting their discontent all over the internet.  Even the executive producer of Big Brother, Allison Grodner, tweeted this: “No matter how much you dislike an HG, this is wrong! True BB fans do not try to ruin lives. Please stop!”

Really, people.  This is a TV show!  You may dislike Shelly’s game play or even what you see as her personality, but in no way has she done anything to deserve the hatred she’s receiving.  She’s never implied that she’s anything but a loving and devoted mother and wife (i.e. not abusive!).  She’s never done anything on the show or the live feeds to deserve being fired from her job.  She’s certainly done nothing to deserve threats of violence.

I sincerely hope that the people making the threats and libelous statements are caught and arrested.  I hope that after the show Shelly’s life is able to go back to normal.  And I seriously hope her poor daughter never hears anything about any of this.

We need Chris Crocker to make a “Leave Shelly Alone!” video.

It’s Confirmed! Coach & Ozzy returning for Survivor: South Pacific!

CBS released the cast of Survivor: South Pacific (which premieres on September 14th, same night as the BB finale!) on their website today.  But let’s be honest–no one cares about anyone in that cast except the returning players.  And it turns out the rumors were true–it’s Coach and Ozzy!

According to the photo on CBS.com, it’s gonna be a battle of the mullets!

Come on now.  I’d expect this type of douche-tastic hairdo from Coach.  But Ozzy!  What happened to you?  You used to be hot.  Now you’re clearly unstable, as evidenced by the 70s porn star collar and what might be the most heinous hair style I’ve ever seen on a man.  Amanda must be laughing her ass off right about now.

Seriously, though, is anyone else completely disinterested in watching this?  Coach’s act got old in Tocantins, and it was bad enough having to suffer through it a second time in Hereos vs. Villains.  Then it was even worse watching it poorly mimicked by Phillip in Redemption Island.  But now we’re going there AGAIN?  Ugh.

Ozzy proved how much of a weenie he really is in Micronesia, and his boot that season was one of the most satisfying blindsides ever.  Seeing his mulleted mug on my television now is just overkill.

Between Big Brother and Survivor, we’ve seen our fair share of returning player seasons.  Returning players don’t inherently make a bad season, but there’s a lesson to be learned here, so bear with me.  There was Survivor: Guatemala (with Stephenie and Bobby Jon), BB11 (with Mr. Pectacular himself, the ever-repulsive Jessie), Survivor Micronesia (fans vs. favorites), Survivor: Redemption Island (with Boston Rob and Russell), and of course, the current season of BB (with the ‘dynamic duos’ of Jordeff, Brenchel, and the Donatos).   Stephenie made it to the final two in Guatemala.  Parvati (a ‘favorite’) won Micronesia.  Boston Rob completely dominated (and won) Redemption Island.  Jessie likely would have won BB11 if he hadn’t been so despicable (forcing production to introduce the Coup de Tat to get him out).  And in the current season of BB, despite a numbers disadvantage and giant targets on their backs since day 1,  two of the final 6 are veterans.

My point: Why the hell do the newbies always let the returnees get so far?  It happens every time.  Wouldn’t the returning players be the easiest, most obvious targets?  Wouldn’t  you make it your goal to get them out first?  The newbies always say that’s their plan, and then they never follow through.  I know I’m on a bit of a tangent here, but I’m just really hoping that the newbies in South Pacific have a little sense and are able to send Coach, Ozzy, AND their mullets packing early.

After I get some sleep (my head is still reeling from the Double Eviction episode of Big Brother!), I’ll be doing a breakdown of the rest of the South Pacific cast, so stay tuned!

Week 4 Eviction Recap! 8/4

Last night’s episode was action-packed.  We learned about the new twist (for the second time), saw Rachel with an overly-generous edit, heard Dick bash his own daughter on national television, and watched the “all-time floater” Kalia win HOH.

RACHEL FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST

Brenchel genuinely believed that their plan to lie about who was staying on the block would trick everyone (they even thought that Dani would be so flabbergasted she’d put up one of her friends as a replacement!).  You can tell from their “Did you see their faces?!” conversation after the veto that they genuinely think they’re brilliant people.  I loved seeing that juxtaposed with everyone else in the house talking about how stupid it was.  One rule for future BB players:  Do not lie unless it’s absolutely necessary!  It almost always bites you in the ass or makes you look like an idiot!

Other than this one moment, Rachel unraveled for several days over Brendon leaving.  She acted like Brendon was diagnosed with a terminal illness and that she’d be all alone forever.  It was ridiculous.  But production gave her an EXTREMELY generous edit in this episode, because the reality of her behavior was far more outrageous than what was shown.  They made it look like Rachel’s hammock meltdown was all about Brendon leaving, when in fact it was because she tried to pick a fight with Daniele and ended up making herself look like a complete ass to everyone in the house (see my “Epic Meltdown” post for the story).  I have absolutely no sympathy for Rachel because she brings it all on herself.  But, of course, she makes herself the victim of everything, just like last season. Which is why Rachel’s temper tantrum was nothing but hilarious.

DICK, THE LOVING FATHER

I was pretty uncomfortable with Dick’s comments about Daniele last night.  Granted, I think he was right in all of what he said (she’s playing too hard too fast and it’s likely because she’s trying to get out of Dick’s shadow).  But that doesn’t mean he should be saying it so bluntly on national TV for all the world to hear.  He should have said what he said a bit more nicely, at least.  I very rarely take the moral soapbox when it comes to reality TV, but I did think his comments were pretty inappropriate.

It WAS pretty hysterical, though, when they played the montage comparing Dani/Dom to Dani/Nick (from season 8).  It was spot-on!

THE HOH

Kalia kicked ass in this competition.  She completely obliterated it.  She answered almost every question before Julie even finished asking it.  I was sincerely impressed.  I really didn’t think she would be able to keep cool enough to perform under that pressure.

Rachel, on the other hand, surprised me with how badly she blew it.  As soon as Julie explained the competition, I was positive Rachel would win (she won this competition last season).  The pressure obviously got to her, because when she answered incorrectly (and yelled “FUCK!” on live TV) it was obvious she didn’t mean to press the button.  If she were a bit calmer, I guarantee she would have won.

I’m glad Kalia won it.  I’m so sick of Rachel calling her an “all-time floater.”  Kalia needed to prove that she’s in it to win it, and after her silver medal in last week’s HOH, she’s definitely a force to be reckoned with.  And watching Rachel sulk afterward was pretty hilarious.

THE TWIST!

I can’t say I was at all surprised about any aspect of the twist that was revealed last night, since it was accidentally revealed on CBS.com the day before (read my blog about that here).  It was interesting, though, that Julie hinted at it to the house guests.  She told them that the next evictee may be coming back.  If I were in the house, I’d throw the HOH this week.  I wouldn’t want to be responsible for booting someone who would come right back into the game.

I wonder if Kalia will consider the twist when she makes her nominations this week.  She might be wary of booting someone like Rachel, who would come back like a bat out of hell.  It might behoove Kalia to target someone like Shelly, whose social game is threatening but she’s unlikely to win a competition to return to the house.

I’m really excited to see how this all plays out.  I honestly wouldn’t be too averse to any of the evictees coming back (they were all decently likeable) EXCEPT Brendon.  I’m hoping that with him gone, it won’t be the Brenchel show every week like it has been, and I’m really interested to see how Rachel’s game develops (or implodes) without Brendon there holding her hand.