It’s the person you’d least suspect! 7/23 (live feed spoilers)

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds!  If you wish to remain unspoiled for the Wednesday/Thursday episodes, DO NOT read ahead!  Otherwise, it’s very juicy after the jump!

POV Ceremony Results! 7/22 (Live Feed Spoilers)

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds.  If you wish to wait until Wednesday and Thursday to find out who won the POV, how it was used, and what happened after that, then do not read this article! Otherwise, it’s all after the jump!

POV Winner! 7/20 (live feed spoilers)

This is just a quick post to let you know who was officially nominated yesterday and who won the power of veto. I can’t do a “read more” tag because I’m posting remotely (and I suck at HTML) so if you don’t want any spoilers, stop reading here!

If you’re keeping up with my spoiler posts, you know that Jeff won HOH on Thursday. Yesterday he nominated Porsche and Kalia, and he was hoping that one of them would win veto so he could nominate Daniele without making anyone angry.

They picked players for the veto competition last night, and everyone was picked except Rachel.

The competition was played today, and guess who won the POV! None other than our reigning HOH himself, Big Jeff!

Will he use it to backdoor Daniele? Stay tuned for more spoilers!

HOH Winner & Aftermath 7/18 (Live Feed Spoilers)

A new HOH was crowned last night, and after the competition there was a lot of game talk. Here’s a quick synopsis of what went down last night.

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds.  If you want to wait until Sunday’s episode to find out the results of the HOH competition (and the aftermath), stop here!  Otherwise, find it all after the jump!

This Weekend in Live Feed Spoilers (7/12-7/15)

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds.  If you wish to remain unspoiled for the broadcast episodes, read no further.  Otherwise, it’s all after the jump!

The Next HOH Has Been Crowned! (Live Feed Spoilers)

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds.  If you wish to remain unspoiled for the broadcast episodes, read no further.  Otherwise, it’s all after the jump!

The Twist Unfolds! (7/11 Recap)

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Craziest episode ever!  Brendon’s back in the game and now we’re in for at least one more week of the Brenchel show.  I just don’t know how to come back from this.  I must admit, though, you couldn’t ask for a bigger shift in momentum.  This was easily the most intense episode so far this season.

LAWON’S LAWONDERFUL LAWASHOUT

As if offering himself up to be evicted in yesterday’s episode wasn’t bad enough, tonight solidified Lawon as the dumbest player in BB history.  He was convinced he had a “99% chance of coming back into the house–with superpowers!”  Anyone hoping for a miracle had their bubble burst right off the bat when Julie not-so-subtly pointed out that, duh, there are no superpowers.  Then, Lawon made it worse by putting on his “acting skills” to make everyone think he didn’t know he’d be put up.  His “performance of a lifetime” (his words) included announcing, completely unprovoked, “I did NOT volunteer.”  That’s like walking up to airport security and saying “I SWEAR I don’t have a bomb!”  You may be telling the truth, but it’s a great way to get a cavity search.

O RLY, LAWON?!

And Shelly gave Lawon one hell of a cavity search.  OK, that came out wrong.  Shelly caught on to Lawon’s “performance” right away.  But really, how difficult was it?  He’s probably the worst liar I’ve ever seen, to an almost embarrassing degree.  I actually do sort of feel bad for him, but more on that later.

KALIA AND DANIELE WASTE THE HOH

The only people who could potentially rival Lawon in the dumb-ass category are Kalia and Daniele.  They could not have played this week more poorly.  First they (and I say ‘they’ since Daniele was pulling Kalia’s puppet strings all week) make horrible nominations, try (and fail) to backtrack on the nominations, kiss their enemies’ asses, put up their closest ally out of fear, and then run on the assumption they control the votes when they controlled none.

They were stupid to let the threat of a twist derail their plans.  It’s a given in BB that nothing is what it seems and they should have realized there would be more to the twist than was revealed to them last week.  They were stupid to think keeping Rachel would give them any power–they needed her gone, because now she’s coming after them no matter what.  They voted out HER MAN, after all, which is punishable by death in Rachel’s world.

Imagine how much better this week would have gone for Dani and Kalia if they had just targeted Rachel?  Rachel and Brendon would have had to duke it out and the numbers wouldn’t have changed.  Instead, they look like boneheads for sacrificing their only ally for no reason.  If they don’t win HOH this week, I think it’s curtains for Kalia and Daniele.

REALLY, AMERICA?!?!

I’m a bit ashamed of my country tonight since you assholes voted BRENDON back into the house.  This is almost as bad as George W Bush’s reelection.  I genuinely don’t get how anyone in their right mind could tolerate, let alone vote for, Brendon’s presence in the BB house.  Am I missing something?

Because I absolutely refuse to believe that the majority of viewers like Brendon, my theory is that he lucked out on this vote.  I think viewers fall into two camps:  those who like Brendon (or at least like the drama he brings), and those who hate Brendon.  Those who like Brendon voted for him to come back, and the rest of the votes were split between Cassi fans and Dominic fans (Keith presumably got less than 1% of votes because he’s a forgettable weirdo). So really it’s Cassi’s/Dominic’s fault for not being interesting enough to have a significant following.  I’ll forgive you for now, America, but if Brendon wins the jury prize, I might need to move to Canada.

THE TWIST COMES TO LIFE

When Julie finally revealed the details of the twist, the house guests’ faces were priceless.  Lawon kept smiling as he waited for Julie to reveal the secret superpowers (and then the smile slowly faded to a look of “Eff my life.”).  You could see Rachel’s thought process as she went from worried, to shocked, to “OHMYGOD I HOPE IT’S BRENDOOOOON!!!!!”  Daniele looked like she was going to poop herself, and Kalia looked like she just wanted to walk right out of the game.

The competition was highly stupid, especially considering how high the stakes were.  Who knew that coming back into the house would hinge on a Skee-Ball match with colored balls?  I was fully expecting an epic endurance battle.  But alas.  It was obvious from the outset that Lawon didn’t stand a chance in hell, but Rachel still felt compelled to give Brendon all the answers.

I really do feel bad for Lawon.  He was likable and funny in the house, and it’s got to be pretty humiliating to make such a huge blunder on live TV.  Hopefully he has a good sense of humor about it, because I wouldn’t wish that kind of embarrassment on anyone.  Except maybe Rachel.

I’m disappointed that we didn’t get to see the HOH competition tonight (which likely means it will also be blocked out for the live feed viewers, too).  Everyone was disappointingly undramatic when Brendon won the competition (no screaming match? Lame!).  We didn’t even get to see the “What the hell were you thinking?” exit interview with Lawon. It’s all very open-ended at this point.

No matter what happens, this is sure to be a VERY interesting week!

POV Episode (7/10) Recap!

Apparently stupidity is abounding in the BB house these days.  It seems that, in addition to the cryabetes that’s plaguing this season’s houseguests (which was still in full swing last night), there’s also a rampant case of dumb-ass present, and it’s highly contagious.

NEWSFLASH: RACHEL SUCKS

The episode starts off with the nomination ceremony, where  without Brendon, Rachel reverted to her 8 year-old self (as opposed to her usual 12 year-old self).  She’s like Benjamin Button, only more whiny.  Shelly had to babysit her, which made Shelly cry tears of desperation.  I’d cry too if I had to do Brendon’s job.

But Rachel couldn’t be tamed, and she threatened (for at least the fifth time this season) to self-evict.  This time it was Jordan’s turn to steer the crazy train, and she couldn’t handle it, either.  I’m so over Rachel’s antics and I’m dying for her to leave.

THE POV

Then we saw the POV competition, where Jeff looked smoking hot in his toga.  I mean really, he should be forced to wear that thing permanently in the Big Brother house.  I can’t remember the last time I saw someone look so hot in a costume.  I mean, he’s normally hot in his regular clothes anyway, but this was just…..wait, where was I?

Oh, right.  So Jeff totally kicked ass in that competition, Adam shocked me with his near-win, and Rachel fumbled like the numbskull that she is.  Kalia’s performance didn’t surprise me at all.  She had already chickened out on her nominations, and she thought she had no chance in that competition, so all she could do was divert her energy into cheering for Jeff.

It was stupid, though, because she could have won that competition.  That’s the kind of competition where even if you’re in dead last, it’s still possible for you to win if other people drop their balls (teehee).  And if she’s trying to prove loyalty to Jeff, she should have won POV and taken him off the block herself.

Once Jeff won, Kalia scrambled to find a replacement nominee who wouldn’t get pissed off at being nominated.  Wasn’t she planning on Jeff coming off the block anyway?  So shouldn’t she have thought this through by now?  Kalia is the worst HOH I’ve seen in a long time.  She’s trying to prove that she’s “here to play” and that she won’t be bullied, but she’s scared of pissing anyone off so she’s not doing what she needs to do for her own game.

LAWON FALLS ON HIS SWORD FACE

So while Kalia’s trying to mastermind a plan wherein she ends someone’s game without pissing them off, Lawon enters the picture and makes what might be the dumbest move in BB history.

Because despite being in a tight alliance and being a non-threat the entire game thus far, Lawon not only offers himself up as a pawn (which is risky enough), he offers to be VOTED OUT.  For some delusional reason, Lawon believes that he’s not only guaranteed to come back into the house, but he’ll also be blessed with some special power in the game(?!?!).  I want some of what Lawon is smoking.

Naturally, Kalia jumps on the idea, because a) Lawon is pretty expendable, and b) it’s a great opportunity not to piss anyone off.  Kalia thought she could use Lawon as a sacrificial lamb to make deals with Rachel, Jeff and Jordan.  But she made a fatal mistake in not consulting with them before the nominations.  She should have sat down with the vets and laid out an offer:  she’ll put up Lawon and send him packing in exchange for a, b and c.  Instead, she just put him up without talking to any of the vets, thus giving them a free pass for the week and without ensuring that they’ll protect her in the future.

Is there something in the water in that house?  Did casting forget to do psychiatric testing on these people before they were allowed in the game?  I can’t think of any other explanation for the rampant stupidity.

I can honestly say at this point I have NO idea who’s going home tonight, but I’m happy with either nominee.  Obviously Rachel needs to go because she eats up too much time with her crying.  And I like Lawon, but if you’re offering to be voted out, you deserve to leave.  I’m VERY excited to see who’s voted back in and whether or not they’ll beat this week’s evictee to come back into the house.  Tonight will likely be the most exciting episode of the season so far!

What just happened?! POV Clusterf#&% (live feed spoilers)

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds.  If you wish to remain unspoiled for the broadcast episodes (most of this will be revealed in Wednesday’s episode), read no further.  Otherwise, it’s all after the jump! 

Nominations Episode Recap 7/7 (no spoilers!)

Now that the two sides of the house are pretty clearly defined, tensions are reaching a boiling point in the Big Brother house.  With the returning house guest twist, this HOH could make or break Kalia’s game.  A lot went down in last night’s episode, so let’s dive right in!

CRYBABY FEVER

The veterans did a really crappy job of hiding their dismay when Kalia won HOH.  Isn’t it Big Brother 101 that you act like a good sport no matter what?  I mean, acting pissed and storming off when your opponent wins only solidifies you as their opponent.  It never hurts to eat a little crow in the house.

But instead, Rachel and Jordan isolated themselves non-stop and cried about how unfair it is that they’re alliance is always the target and that “floaters” don’t have to worry.  Didn’t they realize before entering the house that being a returning player comes with the disadvantage of being perceived as a threat?  I’m getting pretty sick of the victim mentality that’s all over the house this season.

At least Rachel tried to kiss a little HOH ass when she went up to Kalia’s room and congratulated her on her competition skills.  But what Rachel doesn’t realize is that you can’t just suck up and expect to get what you want–you have to have something to offer, as well. But she did more than Jeff or Jordan, so I have to give her props for that.

SHELLY’S DOUBLE DEALINGS

I think Shelly is playing the best game in the house right now.  She’s nice to everyone, she agrees with everything people say, she cleans, she’s a good listener, and she knows how to keep her mouth shut. She talks game and pushes people in the direction that suits her needs most (like in last night’s episode) but she’s so careful about how she says things that her game talk can almost never be traced back to her.  And no one wants to turn on her because everyone thinks she’s telling them the truth.

Sure, she’s shown up on people’s radar a couple of times, but as of right now, there is always a bigger threat to worry about than Shelly.  And I think a lot of that is Shelly’s doing.  It’ll be difficult for her to balance two opposing final 3 deals (one with Dani and Kalia and one with Jeff/Jordan) because eventually she’ll run out of floaters (Adam, Lawon, Porsche) to blame.  But so far she’s done a great job of being a double agent, and as long as she can keep reassuring her alliances, she could go very far.

WHO TO NOMINATE?

Kalia claims that she nominated Jeff because she needed someone fighting their ass off in veto in order to ensure that Rachel leaves this week.  But she’s full of crap.  Jordan was absolutely right when she said that Kalia nominated Jeff and Rachel because she doesn’t care which one goes.  Kalia was just trying to cover her ass with that veto conversation. 

Jeff & Jordan really should cut ties with Rachel and throw her to the wolves.  Threatening the HOH isn’t a good way to get what you want.  Once they realized either Jeff or Rachel will be going this week, they should have moved on and tried to make new deals without Rachel.  They’re shooting themselves in the foot right now and if Rachel leaves, they’ll be all alone.

KALIA WON’T BE BULLIED!

Kalia nominated Jeff and Rachel in an attempt to assert herself and show that she’s not being controlled by anyone.  But really, it only solidified the fact that she’s letting Daniele run her HOH.  As stupid as it was for Jeff to threaten Kalia, he was right.  She’s making three big enemies by nominating Jeff and Rachel, especially because it’s likely (in their minds) that whoever is evicted will come back.

This is a tough week to be HOH because of the twist, but playing as if the twist didn’t exist (Dani’s advice to Kalia) just seems like a bad idea to me.  This would have been a perfect week to make deals with opposing factions and send out a swing vote like Adam or Porsche.

OTHER STUFF FROM THE EPISODE

• Adam’s finally out of the elf suit!  He was a really good sport about it, though, and I’m glad he had fun with it.
• That Have-Not competition was disgusting.  I have to give them all props for even participating, because I think I would have just volunteered for slop.
• I’m not finding Jeff and Jordan very enjoyable lately.  The sense of entitlement and lack of good game play is turning me off.  I hope they turn it around soon!
• Rachel trying to start a fight with Daniele at the nomination ceremony was just stupid.  She knows she might be leaving the house soon so she’s trying to create good TV moments, but she seriously sucks at it and just makes herself look like an idiot.  It baffles me that she doesn’t understand why America hates her so much.