HOH Competition! 7/18 (Live Feed Spoilers)

Brendon has just been evicted and Rachel swore last night that she will kill herself (her words) to win HOH this week.  I’ll be posting periodic updates as the competition progresses, so keep refreshing for more info!

This post contains spoilers from the Big Brother live feeds.  If you want to wait until Sunday to find out the results of the “All Washed Up” competition, then read no further!  Otherwise, find what you seek after the jump.

This Weekend in Live Feed Spoilers (7/12-7/15)

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds.  If you wish to remain unspoiled for the broadcast episodes, read no further.  Otherwise, it’s all after the jump!

The Next HOH Has Been Crowned! (Live Feed Spoilers)

This post contains spoilers from the live feeds.  If you wish to remain unspoiled for the broadcast episodes, read no further.  Otherwise, it’s all after the jump!

The Twist Unfolds! (7/11 Recap)

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Craziest episode ever!  Brendon’s back in the game and now we’re in for at least one more week of the Brenchel show.  I just don’t know how to come back from this.  I must admit, though, you couldn’t ask for a bigger shift in momentum.  This was easily the most intense episode so far this season.

LAWON’S LAWONDERFUL LAWASHOUT

As if offering himself up to be evicted in yesterday’s episode wasn’t bad enough, tonight solidified Lawon as the dumbest player in BB history.  He was convinced he had a “99% chance of coming back into the house–with superpowers!”  Anyone hoping for a miracle had their bubble burst right off the bat when Julie not-so-subtly pointed out that, duh, there are no superpowers.  Then, Lawon made it worse by putting on his “acting skills” to make everyone think he didn’t know he’d be put up.  His “performance of a lifetime” (his words) included announcing, completely unprovoked, “I did NOT volunteer.”  That’s like walking up to airport security and saying “I SWEAR I don’t have a bomb!”  You may be telling the truth, but it’s a great way to get a cavity search.

O RLY, LAWON?!

And Shelly gave Lawon one hell of a cavity search.  OK, that came out wrong.  Shelly caught on to Lawon’s “performance” right away.  But really, how difficult was it?  He’s probably the worst liar I’ve ever seen, to an almost embarrassing degree.  I actually do sort of feel bad for him, but more on that later.

KALIA AND DANIELE WASTE THE HOH

The only people who could potentially rival Lawon in the dumb-ass category are Kalia and Daniele.  They could not have played this week more poorly.  First they (and I say ‘they’ since Daniele was pulling Kalia’s puppet strings all week) make horrible nominations, try (and fail) to backtrack on the nominations, kiss their enemies’ asses, put up their closest ally out of fear, and then run on the assumption they control the votes when they controlled none.

They were stupid to let the threat of a twist derail their plans.  It’s a given in BB that nothing is what it seems and they should have realized there would be more to the twist than was revealed to them last week.  They were stupid to think keeping Rachel would give them any power–they needed her gone, because now she’s coming after them no matter what.  They voted out HER MAN, after all, which is punishable by death in Rachel’s world.

Imagine how much better this week would have gone for Dani and Kalia if they had just targeted Rachel?  Rachel and Brendon would have had to duke it out and the numbers wouldn’t have changed.  Instead, they look like boneheads for sacrificing their only ally for no reason.  If they don’t win HOH this week, I think it’s curtains for Kalia and Daniele.

REALLY, AMERICA?!?!

I’m a bit ashamed of my country tonight since you assholes voted BRENDON back into the house.  This is almost as bad as George W Bush’s reelection.  I genuinely don’t get how anyone in their right mind could tolerate, let alone vote for, Brendon’s presence in the BB house.  Am I missing something?

Because I absolutely refuse to believe that the majority of viewers like Brendon, my theory is that he lucked out on this vote.  I think viewers fall into two camps:  those who like Brendon (or at least like the drama he brings), and those who hate Brendon.  Those who like Brendon voted for him to come back, and the rest of the votes were split between Cassi fans and Dominic fans (Keith presumably got less than 1% of votes because he’s a forgettable weirdo). So really it’s Cassi’s/Dominic’s fault for not being interesting enough to have a significant following.  I’ll forgive you for now, America, but if Brendon wins the jury prize, I might need to move to Canada.

THE TWIST COMES TO LIFE

When Julie finally revealed the details of the twist, the house guests’ faces were priceless.  Lawon kept smiling as he waited for Julie to reveal the secret superpowers (and then the smile slowly faded to a look of “Eff my life.”).  You could see Rachel’s thought process as she went from worried, to shocked, to “OHMYGOD I HOPE IT’S BRENDOOOOON!!!!!”  Daniele looked like she was going to poop herself, and Kalia looked like she just wanted to walk right out of the game.

The competition was highly stupid, especially considering how high the stakes were.  Who knew that coming back into the house would hinge on a Skee-Ball match with colored balls?  I was fully expecting an epic endurance battle.  But alas.  It was obvious from the outset that Lawon didn’t stand a chance in hell, but Rachel still felt compelled to give Brendon all the answers.

I really do feel bad for Lawon.  He was likable and funny in the house, and it’s got to be pretty humiliating to make such a huge blunder on live TV.  Hopefully he has a good sense of humor about it, because I wouldn’t wish that kind of embarrassment on anyone.  Except maybe Rachel.

I’m disappointed that we didn’t get to see the HOH competition tonight (which likely means it will also be blocked out for the live feed viewers, too).  Everyone was disappointingly undramatic when Brendon won the competition (no screaming match? Lame!).  We didn’t even get to see the “What the hell were you thinking?” exit interview with Lawon. It’s all very open-ended at this point.

No matter what happens, this is sure to be a VERY interesting week!

Episode 4 Recap–The First Evictee!

Sometimes, the stars align beautifully and everything just goes your way.  That’s how I felt watching last night’s episode.  Everything was perfect–Keith went home, Lawon looked hansomexy, Dani got a little closure on Dick’s departure, and, best of all, Jordan is the new HOH!

BRENDON GETS EMASCULATED/DEMASCULATED/DEMASCULINTIZED/DEMASCULINATED

Before any of the good stuff happened, we got another peak into the dark, creepy shitstorm that is Brenchel.  I covered their fight a little bit in a previous live feed update, but this was even better than watching it on the feeds, because we actually got to hear Brendon clearly articulate how “demasculintized” he felt.  Later, Rachel apologized for making him feel “demasculinated.”  It’s so nice when two people can resolve their problems with clear, concise communication.  I mean, I know people mispronounce things sometimes, but these weren’t even anywhere close to being rooted in reality. But it was funny!

FLIPS; FLOP

So Keith was evicted after Shelly and Kalia flipped their votes.  It was a brilliant move for both of them because they are no lower on the veterans’ totem pole than they were on the newbies’, they’re now siding with people who actually understand how to play this game (sometimes, anyway), and they won’t even be considered big targets for eviction next to the veterans.  Brilliant.

Adam, on the other hand, is a big dum dum.  Of all the people the veterans tried to sway (which was almost everyone), they were most confident that Adam would side with them.  He’s so infatuated with Big Brother and with all of the dynamic duos.  He CRIED when Dick left, for chrissake!  So why didn’t he flip?  I’m pretty sure it’s because he’s such a huge fan (and also because he’s a moron).  He doesn’t just want to side with the veterans, he wants to be the one to take them out.  And I really think he genuinely believes he can.  Unfortunately for him he’s not very physically adept (he has to take smoke breaks during his workouts and I’m not even joking) and he couldn’t strategize his way out of a paper bag.  Not to mention everyone in the house dislikes him, so there goes the social angle. He needed the veterans, and now he’s screwed.

UNLESS…

I think Adam may be able to use the veterns’ confidence in him to his advantage.  Since the votes aren’t revealed to the HGs, no one knows for sure who flipped and who didn’t.  If Adam is suave enough he can play it to the vets as though he were one of the flippers.  I think the vets feel they can’t trust Kalia, and that’s an easy play for Adam to make.  But that’s assuming his IQ is higher than that of chalk, so probably not.

JORDAN, GOLF CHAMP

The HOH comp could  not have gone better for the veterans.  It was all very strategically and methodically played, and it was brilliant.  Having Jeff and Brendon go last meant they could throw it if Jordan won, keeping them both free to compete next week.  I absolutely adore Jordeff, so I’m thrilled to have them up in HOH this week instead of Brenchwreck.  I think her best move is to target Dominic this week because I think he more than anyone else, he’s totally against the vets. I think he likes Daniele a lot but will try to cut her as soon as her golden key is expired.

CHANGING OPINIONS

As always, my opinions on most of the houseguests have changed over the first week.  Here are my impressions after week 1:

Jordan:  Still love her, of course!  I hope she and Jeff are shown more on the episodes (and live feeds) this week, since last week was pretty much the Brenchel show.  I think Jordan is playing a brilliant social game because she’s really sweet and charming but she’s also very perceptive and clear-headed.

Jeff:  Still love him, too.  I think he’s the voice of reason with the vets.  Hopefully we’ll get a lot of Jordeff HOH moments this week.

Brendon:  I think I hate him even more now than I used to.  He’s the worst.  He tries waaaay too hard to look intelligent (like his rocket science comment in the POV episode…ugh) and it just makes him look stupid.  Plus, he’s creepy and controlling.  He brings nothing to the table.

Rachel:  I think I understand her a little more this season.  She’s incredibly childish and annoying, of course, but I think the reason she does a lot of what she does is because she feels she can get away with it because Brendon is there to back her up (sort of).  We’ve never seen her play the game without Brendon, and I think she’d be much more enjoyable to watch without him.

Daniele: Definitely playing the best social game in the house right now.  She’s friendly to everyone and she understands how people work.  She’s incredible at keeping her mouth shut.  Plus, she’s snarky and hilarious!

Dominic: I still can’t decide if I like him or not.  He’s funny sometimes but he’s also kind of a tool sometimes too.  Sorta reminds me of Hayden from last year.

Adam:  Wow.  He’s so obnoxious.  I loved him based on the pre-show interviews, but sweet Jesus, this guy kind of sucks.  He doesn’t know when to shut it off and he tries way too hard.

Kalia:  I like her, but she talks too much.  She, too, needs to learn when to turn it off.  But she’s a lot sweeter and funnier than I thought she’d be.

Lawon:  I thought I was going to loathe him.  But he’s hilarious!  He’s adorable and funny.

Porsche:  Still don’t like her.  She’s annoying and has no endearing qualities.

Shelly:  A lot more game savvy than I thought she’d be.  And people seem to really like that maternal side of her, which is good.  I think she’s pretty cool.

Cassi:  Absolutely freaking gorgeous.  But she’s totally dull.  She’s too quiet.  I bet she’d be funny/interesting if she opened up a bit.

I’m very interested to see who Jordan puts up!  I think she’ll either target Dominic or Cassi.

The Brenchel Drama Never Ends (and other live feed highlights)!

This post contains spoilers from the live feed!  If you wish to remain unspoiled for the broadcast episodes, do not read ahead!

Not very much has been going on in the past couple of days.  This is what the first week is usually like–not the menacing drama that’s been going on since the feeds went live!  For the most part, the HGs are just relaxing, exercising, and socializing.  The veterans seem to have pulled Shelly, Kalia and Adam to their side.  Then again, you never know what they’re actually thinking and what they’re just letting on.  But I see the three of them playing both sides and only reporting back to the veterans, so that says a lot to me.

Keith is the veterans’ target, so if those three newbies are really with the vets then I think Keith will be the one going.  Dominic, Cassi and Lawon seem to want Porsche out, though, so it’s still up in the air.

KALIA’S RISKY BUSINESS

Kalia seems to have a new strategy in place to go after the golden key next week.  She is telling the newbies that she wants to go home because she misses her family.  Apparently she’s hoping to be put up for eviction under the newbies’ assumption that she would go over Lawon.  In reality, of course, the numbers would be in Kalia’s favor (according to current mindsets), and the vets’ alliance would kill two birds with one stone while both eliminating Lawon (whom they view as a threat) and obtaining a golden key on their side.

I don’t know, guys.  It’s clever in theory, I guess, but it’s never a good idea to tempt BB fate.  The only safe place to be is off the block.  This is the BB house, where no one is who they say they are; no one keeps their word; and opinions change on a dime.  Plus, if she’s shooting for this to happen next week, then a golden key would only ensure her safety for one week after that.  I don’t think she’s really making a sound risk/reward judgment here.  Plus, if a noob is in power next week, do you really think they’re going to be targeting Kalia?  No, of course not.  The noobs are steadfast against the veterans, as they should be.

CLASSIC BRENCHEL

It’s funny.  In general I think I like Rachel more this season than BB12 (Brendon is still a butthead).  Rachel seems to be calmer, more polite, less irritating and not playing for the cameras as much this time around.  She and Brendon have both mentioned that this is an opportunity for redemption.  But old habits die hard and she and Brendon are reverting back to their old ways.  Last night, Rachel and Porsche got drunk and acted exactly as you’d expect them to (hint: they were annoying).

Next Stop: Celebrity Rehab?

Anyhow, Brendon didn’t take too kindly to this, so he did what he does best: act like a complete bitch.  He basically told Rachel he’s embarrassed for her and that she’s going to catch all the same flak from fans that she did last year (he mentioned that she was really hurt by all of it after BB12).  He also kept saying that she’s disrespectful when she drinks and that she “de-masculated” (the word is emasculate, dummy) him when she was drunk by calling him “Bookie” and “Snookums” (their barfy pet names for each other) in front of other people.

Brendon went into a big litany about how he doesn’t want his future babymama to behave in that way and that he’s had this conversation with her multiple times (which is true–they had this same exact fight a couple nights ago).  Rachel basically stopped responding and sulked on the couch.  The fight continued this morning, culminating in Brendon threatening to throw HOH so they’ll be voted out, and Rachel threatening to break off the engagement.  It never really got resolved, but they seem fine now.

To be honest I can see where Brendon was coming from–Rachel is an annoying drunk, and he was trying to look out for her when it comes to how she’s perceived by fans.  But he’s approaching it from a creepy/controlling perspective where he’s trying to mold her into the perfect wife (trying to mold Rachel into wife material is like trying to polish a turd).

Yuck.  Their relationship makes me feel icky.  I need to watch more Jordeff to feel better!

The Live Feed Digest! Plus, an update on our lost house guest!

I’m starting a two-week graduate course tomorrow that will be taking up a lot of my time, so for the next little while my posts will be relatively short.  Here’s the Reader’s Digest of the past day or so (this contains spoilers from the live feeds, so if you prefer to wait until the broadcast episodes, stop reading here!):

 

 

 

• Last night, Keith called Lawon out for playing both sides of the house (he has been).  He did this in front of Brendon and Rachel, in the hopes that Brenchel would use the POV on Keith.  Keith called him out on specific things that he admitted to, and other things he didn’t.  But it cast doubt in Brenchel’s mind about whether or not they can trust Lawon.
  

  The girls, sharing a moment

• In a way, the fight backfired for Keith, because in the aftermath, Lawon cried to Brenchel about it and it definitely played on their sympathies.  Rachel even cried because she felt guilty about it.
• Brenchel fought again (twice, actually) about her talking game when he’s not around.  One of the fights got a little intense, where Rachel was actually screaming at Brendon in the HOH room.  She compared their relationship to Jeff & Jordan, saying something along the lines of “Jeff and Jordan never fight!”  I mean, I guess I can’t blame her, as anyone would be jealous of Jordeff’s relationship.  Of course they made up and the roller coaster that is Brenchel continues.
• The POV ceremony was today.  Brenchel decided not to use the POV, so Keith and Porsche are still the nominees.  The veterans are targeting Keith because of his physical prowess, but the newbies are targeting Porsche because they know she’s playing both sides.
• The veterans are working hard to create cracks in the newbies’ alliances and to get some newbies to flip.  They seem to be working the hardest now on Shelly and Adam.  It seems to be working, but it’s hard to tell because they’re both doing a pretty good job of playing both sides.
• I honestly don’t know which of the nominees is leaving at this point because they are both big targets.  It’s really unclear how the newbies will be voting as many of them have made multiple deals.

In other news, Dick posted a video on his web site, RTVZone.com, addressing his departure from the BB house.  You can watch it here, but he really doesn’t say much.  He goes on for several minutes dispelling the rumors and apologizing to CBS, Dani, his fans, etc, and then when he finally gets to the point, he doesn’t say much.  He said that he was brought into the DR and confronted with some bad news about someone close to him outside the house.  The person (he doesn’t say who) needed him and Dick knew he had to leave, disappointed as he is now.  He was very clear that he will not be elaborating any further, so don’t bother asking.  Obviously this is a pretty personal issue, and I feel kind of bad for him.  Watching the video, it’s obvious how bummed he is about the situation.  I just hope everything is OK and that he’ll get another opportunity to play in a future season.

Big Brother 13 Premieres!

The first episode of BB13 just ended, and to sum it all up in one word: WOW.  So much information!  Tonight’s episode had more twists and turns than Kim Kardashian trying to wiggle out of a pair of Spanx!  I had my doubts about how this season would play out, and although it’s still early, I’m liking it so far.  But let’s get down to business–there’s a lot to go over!

THE CAST

So, internet, congratulations!  You were right about who was coming back to the Big Brother house.  As we all suspected, it was Dick & Daniele, Brenchel (ew), and Jeff & Jordan.  I’m so glad Jordeff are still an item, and I love that they’re already coming out with the adorably silly banter.  Brenchel is the worst, but I have to hand it to them, they are (sadly) a power couple!  And the Donatos are apparently right back where they started in BB8, not having spoken in 3 years.  I think they’re both pretty level-headed, though, and hopefully won’t let their personal business get in the way. I thought it was funny that some of the HGs had no clue who they were!

I already did my breakdown of the new cast in a previous post, but now we’re seeing them in action for the first time.  So far few of my opinions have changed.  Here are my impressions of the newbies so far:

Adam: Funny.  I really want to like him.  But he needs to take it down a notch, because he already seems to be grating on people’s nerves a bit.

Lawon: Jesus, this guy is obnoxious!  There were a couple times that he made me chuckle, but then he took every quip too far into annoying.  I think he’s trying too hard.

Dominic:  I was surprised to hear that he’s a virgin.  I still can’t get a good read on him.  He seems cool enough, but he was kind of a dick to Adam (his ‘prison buddies’ comment was both hilarious and mean) and I think he has potential to be a real judgmental ass.

Porsche: Obnoxious.  She’s like the devil spawn of Rachel and Parvati (from Survivor).  I do not like her so far.  I predict she’ll be an early boot, because she seems to be relying a lot on flirting to get ahead, and there really aren’t any guys in there who will take the bait (aside from Keith and possibly Dominic).

Keith: WAY too girl-crazy.  Everything he said tonight was about women.  It’s getting old fast.  Picking Porsche as a partner was a pretty stupid move, as I don’t think she has much to bring to the table.

Cassi & Shelly:  I like them.  They both seem really friendly and fun, and I don’t think either of them will put up with annoying drama.

Kalia: Seems very bitchy.  I think she’s most likely of all of them to overplay her hand and get booted because of it.

It was interesting that almost everyone lied about something!  Some of their lies were stupid, others not so much.  I don’t understand why Porsche and Keith lied about their professions.  They both should have bent the truth instead of pulling jobs out of their asses.  Why couldn’t Keith just say he works in HR, rather than say he’s a matchmaker?  And if Porsche didn’t want to tell the truth about being a “VIP Cocktail Waitress,” she could have just said she’s a bartender or waitress at Chili’s or something.  Completely fabricating your profession has big potential to bite you in the ass.  It’s hard to keep up the big lies like that, and I don’t see either of them being able to pull it off.

THE TWISTS

It sounds like the game will be played very differently this year (in the beginning, anyway).  Being forced to choose a partner must have been extremely awkward.  You barely know each other aside from introductions (which was mostly lies anyway).  You don’t want to seem over-eager, but you also don’t want to sit back and get stuck with everyone else’s leftovers (like Kalia and Lawon).  Not only do you have to depend on your partner to fight, you also have to turn on them if you’re both nominated!  So you simultaneously want someone who can help you in strategy, yet will be easy to beat in a vote.  My head hurts.

Then there’s the Golden Key issue.  When a duo is nominated, whichever player is not evicted gets a free ride to the final 10!  This, to me, means that once it gets to the final 10, it will become an individual game (otherwise the concept of nominating duos makes no sense anymore).  It’s like Rachel said, it’s less about who you want to get rid of and more about who you want to keep.  So, with that in mind, I would think you nominate the imbalanced couples, evict the most threatening, and then you give the free ride to the one who’s not a threat to your long-term strategy.  But that’s in an ideal world–are there even any such couples?  There are so many ways you could slice this. I do think, though, that this twist will play out much like the cliques in BB11, where it has a huge impact early on and then no impact after a couple of weeks.

I think the newbies are right to try to stick together against the returnees.  But history has shown us that people rarely stick to the plan, because everyone is always looking out for a better deal.

Side note: I’m 99% positive they’re bringing back Have Nots this year.  I assume there was just too much to cover tonight and they’ll show us on Sunday.  Hopefully that heinous candy room becomes the Have Not room, because I actually really like that library room they unveiled tonight!

THE HOH

As soon as the houseguests saw those bananas, the That’s-What-She-Saids were spouting as much as the chocolate & whipped cream.  This challenge was delightfully awkward.  You had Daniele’s butt hovering over her father’s head, Adam mashing his head into Dominic’s ass, Brendan and Rachel in that creepy mating position, and everyone else simply losing their dignity on a giant banana.

Shelly & Cassi were smart to throw it.  I don’t think they’ll be seen as a threat anyway, and they don’t need HOH this week.  Jordan, true to form, depended on Jeff and dropped out early.  Sadly, it came down to a deal between the Donatos and Rachel, and I think the Donatos were smart to drop out.  If another returnee has HOH, Dick & Daniele are most likely safe.  Plus, considering how much of a threat they already are, it was smart for them not to win HOH this week.

So Rachel won, which is a mixed bag for me.  I loathe her more than anything, but at the same time, I’m glad she’ll (hopefully) keep the other returnees safe.  I think she’d be stupid not to.  They have to know that the returnees are the biggest target out of anyone so far, so they really need to stick together or else they’ll be picked off fast.  I’m guessing Rachel will nominate a newbie pair, but I have no idea who she’ll go for.  Possibly Keith & Porsche because they appear to be athletic.  But with this Golden Key business thrown in, who knows?

Based on the previews at the end of the episode, it appears the veto competition has already been played, so at this moment the houseguests probably have a good idea already of who’s going home.  The feeds go live in a couple of hours, so I’ll post as soon as I figure out what’s going on!