CBS.com Blows it! Reveals Twist Before Live Show! (Spoilers?)

This post contains possible spoilers from a horrendous screw-up at CBS.com.  They posted information about a twist that was presumably meant to be revealed in tonight’s live episode.  If you want to wait until the episode to hear the twist, then read no further!  Otherwise, it’s all after the jump!

Episode 4 Recap–The First Evictee!

Sometimes, the stars align beautifully and everything just goes your way.  That’s how I felt watching last night’s episode.  Everything was perfect–Keith went home, Lawon looked hansomexy, Dani got a little closure on Dick’s departure, and, best of all, Jordan is the new HOH!

BRENDON GETS EMASCULATED/DEMASCULATED/DEMASCULINTIZED/DEMASCULINATED

Before any of the good stuff happened, we got another peak into the dark, creepy shitstorm that is Brenchel.  I covered their fight a little bit in a previous live feed update, but this was even better than watching it on the feeds, because we actually got to hear Brendon clearly articulate how “demasculintized” he felt.  Later, Rachel apologized for making him feel “demasculinated.”  It’s so nice when two people can resolve their problems with clear, concise communication.  I mean, I know people mispronounce things sometimes, but these weren’t even anywhere close to being rooted in reality. But it was funny!

FLIPS; FLOP

So Keith was evicted after Shelly and Kalia flipped their votes.  It was a brilliant move for both of them because they are no lower on the veterans’ totem pole than they were on the newbies’, they’re now siding with people who actually understand how to play this game (sometimes, anyway), and they won’t even be considered big targets for eviction next to the veterans.  Brilliant.

Adam, on the other hand, is a big dum dum.  Of all the people the veterans tried to sway (which was almost everyone), they were most confident that Adam would side with them.  He’s so infatuated with Big Brother and with all of the dynamic duos.  He CRIED when Dick left, for chrissake!  So why didn’t he flip?  I’m pretty sure it’s because he’s such a huge fan (and also because he’s a moron).  He doesn’t just want to side with the veterans, he wants to be the one to take them out.  And I really think he genuinely believes he can.  Unfortunately for him he’s not very physically adept (he has to take smoke breaks during his workouts and I’m not even joking) and he couldn’t strategize his way out of a paper bag.  Not to mention everyone in the house dislikes him, so there goes the social angle. He needed the veterans, and now he’s screwed.

UNLESS…

I think Adam may be able to use the veterns’ confidence in him to his advantage.  Since the votes aren’t revealed to the HGs, no one knows for sure who flipped and who didn’t.  If Adam is suave enough he can play it to the vets as though he were one of the flippers.  I think the vets feel they can’t trust Kalia, and that’s an easy play for Adam to make.  But that’s assuming his IQ is higher than that of chalk, so probably not.

JORDAN, GOLF CHAMP

The HOH comp could  not have gone better for the veterans.  It was all very strategically and methodically played, and it was brilliant.  Having Jeff and Brendon go last meant they could throw it if Jordan won, keeping them both free to compete next week.  I absolutely adore Jordeff, so I’m thrilled to have them up in HOH this week instead of Brenchwreck.  I think her best move is to target Dominic this week because I think he more than anyone else, he’s totally against the vets. I think he likes Daniele a lot but will try to cut her as soon as her golden key is expired.

CHANGING OPINIONS

As always, my opinions on most of the houseguests have changed over the first week.  Here are my impressions after week 1:

Jordan:  Still love her, of course!  I hope she and Jeff are shown more on the episodes (and live feeds) this week, since last week was pretty much the Brenchel show.  I think Jordan is playing a brilliant social game because she’s really sweet and charming but she’s also very perceptive and clear-headed.

Jeff:  Still love him, too.  I think he’s the voice of reason with the vets.  Hopefully we’ll get a lot of Jordeff HOH moments this week.

Brendon:  I think I hate him even more now than I used to.  He’s the worst.  He tries waaaay too hard to look intelligent (like his rocket science comment in the POV episode…ugh) and it just makes him look stupid.  Plus, he’s creepy and controlling.  He brings nothing to the table.

Rachel:  I think I understand her a little more this season.  She’s incredibly childish and annoying, of course, but I think the reason she does a lot of what she does is because she feels she can get away with it because Brendon is there to back her up (sort of).  We’ve never seen her play the game without Brendon, and I think she’d be much more enjoyable to watch without him.

Daniele: Definitely playing the best social game in the house right now.  She’s friendly to everyone and she understands how people work.  She’s incredible at keeping her mouth shut.  Plus, she’s snarky and hilarious!

Dominic: I still can’t decide if I like him or not.  He’s funny sometimes but he’s also kind of a tool sometimes too.  Sorta reminds me of Hayden from last year.

Adam:  Wow.  He’s so obnoxious.  I loved him based on the pre-show interviews, but sweet Jesus, this guy kind of sucks.  He doesn’t know when to shut it off and he tries way too hard.

Kalia:  I like her, but she talks too much.  She, too, needs to learn when to turn it off.  But she’s a lot sweeter and funnier than I thought she’d be.

Lawon:  I thought I was going to loathe him.  But he’s hilarious!  He’s adorable and funny.

Porsche:  Still don’t like her.  She’s annoying and has no endearing qualities.

Shelly:  A lot more game savvy than I thought she’d be.  And people seem to really like that maternal side of her, which is good.  I think she’s pretty cool.

Cassi:  Absolutely freaking gorgeous.  But she’s totally dull.  She’s too quiet.  I bet she’d be funny/interesting if she opened up a bit.

I’m very interested to see who Jordan puts up!  I think she’ll either target Dominic or Cassi.

The Brenchel Drama Never Ends (and other live feed highlights)!

This post contains spoilers from the live feed!  If you wish to remain unspoiled for the broadcast episodes, do not read ahead!

Not very much has been going on in the past couple of days.  This is what the first week is usually like–not the menacing drama that’s been going on since the feeds went live!  For the most part, the HGs are just relaxing, exercising, and socializing.  The veterans seem to have pulled Shelly, Kalia and Adam to their side.  Then again, you never know what they’re actually thinking and what they’re just letting on.  But I see the three of them playing both sides and only reporting back to the veterans, so that says a lot to me.

Keith is the veterans’ target, so if those three newbies are really with the vets then I think Keith will be the one going.  Dominic, Cassi and Lawon seem to want Porsche out, though, so it’s still up in the air.

KALIA’S RISKY BUSINESS

Kalia seems to have a new strategy in place to go after the golden key next week.  She is telling the newbies that she wants to go home because she misses her family.  Apparently she’s hoping to be put up for eviction under the newbies’ assumption that she would go over Lawon.  In reality, of course, the numbers would be in Kalia’s favor (according to current mindsets), and the vets’ alliance would kill two birds with one stone while both eliminating Lawon (whom they view as a threat) and obtaining a golden key on their side.

I don’t know, guys.  It’s clever in theory, I guess, but it’s never a good idea to tempt BB fate.  The only safe place to be is off the block.  This is the BB house, where no one is who they say they are; no one keeps their word; and opinions change on a dime.  Plus, if she’s shooting for this to happen next week, then a golden key would only ensure her safety for one week after that.  I don’t think she’s really making a sound risk/reward judgment here.  Plus, if a noob is in power next week, do you really think they’re going to be targeting Kalia?  No, of course not.  The noobs are steadfast against the veterans, as they should be.

CLASSIC BRENCHEL

It’s funny.  In general I think I like Rachel more this season than BB12 (Brendon is still a butthead).  Rachel seems to be calmer, more polite, less irritating and not playing for the cameras as much this time around.  She and Brendon have both mentioned that this is an opportunity for redemption.  But old habits die hard and she and Brendon are reverting back to their old ways.  Last night, Rachel and Porsche got drunk and acted exactly as you’d expect them to (hint: they were annoying).

Next Stop: Celebrity Rehab?

Anyhow, Brendon didn’t take too kindly to this, so he did what he does best: act like a complete bitch.  He basically told Rachel he’s embarrassed for her and that she’s going to catch all the same flak from fans that she did last year (he mentioned that she was really hurt by all of it after BB12).  He also kept saying that she’s disrespectful when she drinks and that she “de-masculated” (the word is emasculate, dummy) him when she was drunk by calling him “Bookie” and “Snookums” (their barfy pet names for each other) in front of other people.

Brendon went into a big litany about how he doesn’t want his future babymama to behave in that way and that he’s had this conversation with her multiple times (which is true–they had this same exact fight a couple nights ago).  Rachel basically stopped responding and sulked on the couch.  The fight continued this morning, culminating in Brendon threatening to throw HOH so they’ll be voted out, and Rachel threatening to break off the engagement.  It never really got resolved, but they seem fine now.

To be honest I can see where Brendon was coming from–Rachel is an annoying drunk, and he was trying to look out for her when it comes to how she’s perceived by fans.  But he’s approaching it from a creepy/controlling perspective where he’s trying to mold her into the perfect wife (trying to mold Rachel into wife material is like trying to polish a turd).

Yuck.  Their relationship makes me feel icky.  I need to watch more Jordeff to feel better!

The Live Feed Digest! Plus, an update on our lost house guest!

I’m starting a two-week graduate course tomorrow that will be taking up a lot of my time, so for the next little while my posts will be relatively short.  Here’s the Reader’s Digest of the past day or so (this contains spoilers from the live feeds, so if you prefer to wait until the broadcast episodes, stop reading here!):

 

 

 

• Last night, Keith called Lawon out for playing both sides of the house (he has been).  He did this in front of Brendon and Rachel, in the hopes that Brenchel would use the POV on Keith.  Keith called him out on specific things that he admitted to, and other things he didn’t.  But it cast doubt in Brenchel’s mind about whether or not they can trust Lawon.
  

  The girls, sharing a moment

• In a way, the fight backfired for Keith, because in the aftermath, Lawon cried to Brenchel about it and it definitely played on their sympathies.  Rachel even cried because she felt guilty about it.
• Brenchel fought again (twice, actually) about her talking game when he’s not around.  One of the fights got a little intense, where Rachel was actually screaming at Brendon in the HOH room.  She compared their relationship to Jeff & Jordan, saying something along the lines of “Jeff and Jordan never fight!”  I mean, I guess I can’t blame her, as anyone would be jealous of Jordeff’s relationship.  Of course they made up and the roller coaster that is Brenchel continues.
• The POV ceremony was today.  Brenchel decided not to use the POV, so Keith and Porsche are still the nominees.  The veterans are targeting Keith because of his physical prowess, but the newbies are targeting Porsche because they know she’s playing both sides.
• The veterans are working hard to create cracks in the newbies’ alliances and to get some newbies to flip.  They seem to be working the hardest now on Shelly and Adam.  It seems to be working, but it’s hard to tell because they’re both doing a pretty good job of playing both sides.
• I honestly don’t know which of the nominees is leaving at this point because they are both big targets.  It’s really unclear how the newbies will be voting as many of them have made multiple deals.

In other news, Dick posted a video on his web site, RTVZone.com, addressing his departure from the BB house.  You can watch it here, but he really doesn’t say much.  He goes on for several minutes dispelling the rumors and apologizing to CBS, Dani, his fans, etc, and then when he finally gets to the point, he doesn’t say much.  He said that he was brought into the DR and confronted with some bad news about someone close to him outside the house.  The person (he doesn’t say who) needed him and Dick knew he had to leave, disappointed as he is now.  He was very clear that he will not be elaborating any further, so don’t bother asking.  Obviously this is a pretty personal issue, and I feel kind of bad for him.  Watching the video, it’s obvious how bummed he is about the situation.  I just hope everything is OK and that he’ll get another opportunity to play in a future season.

Big Brother 13 Premieres!

The first episode of BB13 just ended, and to sum it all up in one word: WOW.  So much information!  Tonight’s episode had more twists and turns than Kim Kardashian trying to wiggle out of a pair of Spanx!  I had my doubts about how this season would play out, and although it’s still early, I’m liking it so far.  But let’s get down to business–there’s a lot to go over!

THE CAST

So, internet, congratulations!  You were right about who was coming back to the Big Brother house.  As we all suspected, it was Dick & Daniele, Brenchel (ew), and Jeff & Jordan.  I’m so glad Jordeff are still an item, and I love that they’re already coming out with the adorably silly banter.  Brenchel is the worst, but I have to hand it to them, they are (sadly) a power couple!  And the Donatos are apparently right back where they started in BB8, not having spoken in 3 years.  I think they’re both pretty level-headed, though, and hopefully won’t let their personal business get in the way. I thought it was funny that some of the HGs had no clue who they were!

I already did my breakdown of the new cast in a previous post, but now we’re seeing them in action for the first time.  So far few of my opinions have changed.  Here are my impressions of the newbies so far:

Adam: Funny.  I really want to like him.  But he needs to take it down a notch, because he already seems to be grating on people’s nerves a bit.

Lawon: Jesus, this guy is obnoxious!  There were a couple times that he made me chuckle, but then he took every quip too far into annoying.  I think he’s trying too hard.

Dominic:  I was surprised to hear that he’s a virgin.  I still can’t get a good read on him.  He seems cool enough, but he was kind of a dick to Adam (his ‘prison buddies’ comment was both hilarious and mean) and I think he has potential to be a real judgmental ass.

Porsche: Obnoxious.  She’s like the devil spawn of Rachel and Parvati (from Survivor).  I do not like her so far.  I predict she’ll be an early boot, because she seems to be relying a lot on flirting to get ahead, and there really aren’t any guys in there who will take the bait (aside from Keith and possibly Dominic).

Keith: WAY too girl-crazy.  Everything he said tonight was about women.  It’s getting old fast.  Picking Porsche as a partner was a pretty stupid move, as I don’t think she has much to bring to the table.

Cassi & Shelly:  I like them.  They both seem really friendly and fun, and I don’t think either of them will put up with annoying drama.

Kalia: Seems very bitchy.  I think she’s most likely of all of them to overplay her hand and get booted because of it.

It was interesting that almost everyone lied about something!  Some of their lies were stupid, others not so much.  I don’t understand why Porsche and Keith lied about their professions.  They both should have bent the truth instead of pulling jobs out of their asses.  Why couldn’t Keith just say he works in HR, rather than say he’s a matchmaker?  And if Porsche didn’t want to tell the truth about being a “VIP Cocktail Waitress,” she could have just said she’s a bartender or waitress at Chili’s or something.  Completely fabricating your profession has big potential to bite you in the ass.  It’s hard to keep up the big lies like that, and I don’t see either of them being able to pull it off.

THE TWISTS

It sounds like the game will be played very differently this year (in the beginning, anyway).  Being forced to choose a partner must have been extremely awkward.  You barely know each other aside from introductions (which was mostly lies anyway).  You don’t want to seem over-eager, but you also don’t want to sit back and get stuck with everyone else’s leftovers (like Kalia and Lawon).  Not only do you have to depend on your partner to fight, you also have to turn on them if you’re both nominated!  So you simultaneously want someone who can help you in strategy, yet will be easy to beat in a vote.  My head hurts.

Then there’s the Golden Key issue.  When a duo is nominated, whichever player is not evicted gets a free ride to the final 10!  This, to me, means that once it gets to the final 10, it will become an individual game (otherwise the concept of nominating duos makes no sense anymore).  It’s like Rachel said, it’s less about who you want to get rid of and more about who you want to keep.  So, with that in mind, I would think you nominate the imbalanced couples, evict the most threatening, and then you give the free ride to the one who’s not a threat to your long-term strategy.  But that’s in an ideal world–are there even any such couples?  There are so many ways you could slice this. I do think, though, that this twist will play out much like the cliques in BB11, where it has a huge impact early on and then no impact after a couple of weeks.

I think the newbies are right to try to stick together against the returnees.  But history has shown us that people rarely stick to the plan, because everyone is always looking out for a better deal.

Side note: I’m 99% positive they’re bringing back Have Nots this year.  I assume there was just too much to cover tonight and they’ll show us on Sunday.  Hopefully that heinous candy room becomes the Have Not room, because I actually really like that library room they unveiled tonight!

THE HOH

As soon as the houseguests saw those bananas, the That’s-What-She-Saids were spouting as much as the chocolate & whipped cream.  This challenge was delightfully awkward.  You had Daniele’s butt hovering over her father’s head, Adam mashing his head into Dominic’s ass, Brendan and Rachel in that creepy mating position, and everyone else simply losing their dignity on a giant banana.

Shelly & Cassi were smart to throw it.  I don’t think they’ll be seen as a threat anyway, and they don’t need HOH this week.  Jordan, true to form, depended on Jeff and dropped out early.  Sadly, it came down to a deal between the Donatos and Rachel, and I think the Donatos were smart to drop out.  If another returnee has HOH, Dick & Daniele are most likely safe.  Plus, considering how much of a threat they already are, it was smart for them not to win HOH this week.

So Rachel won, which is a mixed bag for me.  I loathe her more than anything, but at the same time, I’m glad she’ll (hopefully) keep the other returnees safe.  I think she’d be stupid not to.  They have to know that the returnees are the biggest target out of anyone so far, so they really need to stick together or else they’ll be picked off fast.  I’m guessing Rachel will nominate a newbie pair, but I have no idea who she’ll go for.  Possibly Keith & Porsche because they appear to be athletic.  But with this Golden Key business thrown in, who knows?

Based on the previews at the end of the episode, it appears the veto competition has already been played, so at this moment the houseguests probably have a good idea already of who’s going home.  The feeds go live in a couple of hours, so I’ll post as soon as I figure out what’s going on!

Big Brother Cast Revealed!

Fair warning:  this post is going to be long.  We have a lot to go over!  The Big Brother 13 cast was finally revealed this morning on The Early Show!  It’s official–there will be returning players!  Aside from 8 fresh faces, there will be 3 (I believe) “Dynamic Duos from the past” returning as houseguests this summer.  This could be good or bad depending on who comes back, I think, though I suspect that if the new houseguests have any sense, the duos will be on the block early and often.  On the CBS website, there’s a poll asking which duo you think will return.  Don’t be fooled–CBS has already made its decision and this is not a vote that counts for anything.  Anyway, here are our candidates for the returning duos this season:

Brendan and Rachel, BB12

Ew ew ew ew ew.  I just can’t deal with how disgusting these two are.  From their attention-whorish behavior in the house last season to their pathetic dick-pic scandal outside the house (I feel like I need a shower after typing that), I have had my fill of these two idiots.  Sadly, because they’re so polarizing and obnoxious, they are most likely to be cast this season. Let’s all just hope they’re booted early.

Dr. Will & Mike Boogie, All-Stars

Chilltown!  I would be OK with them coming back.  They were hilarious and maniacal on All-Stars and both deserving winners.  I’m hoping they’re one of the pairs, but I doubt it since they’ve both won once and haven’t been involved in the show for a very long time.  I think they’ve both moved on and I’d be pretty surprised if they signed up again.

Jessie and Natalie, BB11

Another yucky pair.  Jessie is terrible and I really don’t understand why they keep bringing him back every friggin’ season.  He has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.  And Natalie was just useless and boring.  I’m hoping this is a no go.

Evel Dick & Daniele, BB8

Another pair I’d be OK with.  Daniele was pretty intelligent in her season and I think she’d have more to bring to the table now that she’s matured a bit.  Dick was, of course, an evil genius and one of the best villains ever.  Unfortunately I don’t think they are very likely to be cast since Daniele is currently hosting a web show on SuperPass with BB12’s Ragan, and its final episode is slated for next Tuesday (the rest of the cast has already been sequestered for a while now). If there’s a guest host on the last episode then we’ll have a better idea.

Jeff & Jordan, BB11

Yes, please!  These two are adorable.  Their banter was hilarious and the fact that they just refused to take part in all the idiotic drama of their season was awesome.  I would love to see them again, and since they are one of the most popular pairs in BB history (with additional stints on The Amazing Race and CBS.com’s Around the World For Free), I wouldn’t be surprised if they came back.  We need a pair like this to offset the horror of a pair like Brenchel.

Hayden & Enzo, BB12

Last season, the three dumbos of the Brigade (after they got rid of Matt and his awesomeness) were genuinely convinced that the show would lead them to movie deals, their own reality shows, and other delusions of grandeur.  While I have to give Hayden props for charming his way to victory, they were cocky, irritating and stupid.  Enzo (I mean the Meow Meow) was the worst of the three.  I hated him almost as much as I hated Rachel.  I’m pretty convinced that Brenchel will be returning this season, though, so another pair from BB12 is unlikely.

I’m sure we won’t know who the returnees are until the show premieres a week from today.  Luckily the rest of the cast was released this morning, so we have some information on each of them.  I’ll share my thoughts, but I find that typically my first impressions of the houseguests are pretty wrong and after a couple weeks my opinions usually change.  For more information, watch the cast videos on CBS.com.  I have to say, I’m surprised that as a whole the cast is older, and not as full of fake-breasted, human growth hormone-supplemented, model/actor weenies from LA like usual.  Check them out:

Porsche, 23

Name: Porsche Briggs
Age: 23
Hometown: Fort Lauderdale, Fla. (living in Miami Beach, Fla.)
Occupation: VIP Cocktail Waitress
Three adjectives that describe you: Sexy, bitchy and clever 
Strategy for winning BIG BROTHER: Try not to blow up at too many people.
Which past Big Brother cast member did you like most or least? Natalie Martinez – I love that she straight up lied to everyone and it worked.  We are around the same age so I hate that she had the idea and chance before me.

Another VIP Cocktail Waitress?  And she thinks she’s sexy, bitchy and clever?  Who appears to be wearing that swan dress that Bjork wore to the Grammys that one time? Raise your hand if you think her given name is Jennifer.  It’s funny that she describes herself as so volatile, yet in her video interview on CBS.com she says that people will be surprised that she’s “…a pretty girl who’s not a complete bitch to everyone.”  She also mentions that she left behind “…a ton of friends, my family, and both my cell phones to be here.”  Sounds like she has a very fulfilling life.  By the way, dummy, Natalie’s “straight up” lie to everyone did NOT work.  Remember how everyone found out about it and thought she was an idiot and didn’t vote for her to win?  I’m sure Jennifer Porsche will bring a lot to the table this season (eyeroll).

Shelly, 41

Name: Shelly Moore
Age: 41
Hometown: Centerville, Ohio (living in Prairieville, La.)
Occupation: Outdoors Industry Executive
Three adjectives that describe you: Dynamic, tenacious and giving
What do you think will be the most difficult part about living inside the BIG BROTHER house? (Dealing with) the filth of people who don’t clean up their stuff.  The other hard part would be sleeping in a room with people who snore.  Also, popping a zit in front of America would be a new challenge.
Strategy for winning BIG BROTHER: I’m a leader, a ring leader and a team builder.  I would try to pull a good group of people together that could mutually benefit from the arrangement.
What is the accomplishment you are most proud of? My daughter.  Every smile, every hug, every word… she is part of her daddy and me.

I think I like Shelly.  She seems very down to earth.  She sort of reminds me of Holly from Survivor: Nicaragua.  Sweet, kind, funny, charming, but also tough and intelligent.  I could definitely also see her annoying the hell out of her housemates though.  When she says she’s a ringleader and a team builder, that can be code for pushy and irritating.  Especially if she grates on people for not cleaning.  I could also see her going down the path of Kathy from BB12 who seemed incredibly interesting (really good looking 40something cop from a hick town, cancer survivor, etc.) but turned out to be a complete dud.  I like you so far, Shelly, and I wish you well.

Lawon, 39

Name: Lawon Exum
Age: 39
Hometown: Urbana, Ill. (living in Inglewood, Calif.)
Occupation: Legal File Clerk
Three adjectives that describe you: “Handsomexy” (handsome and sexy, because I am inside and out) and clever.
Favorite activities: My favorite activity is exercising because it keeps my mind sharp and me looking “handsomefied.”  I also like to travel with friends to experience different cities and cultures.
What do you think will be the most difficult part about living inside the BIG BROTHER house? The most difficult part will be adjusting to housemate’s hygiene habits.
Strategy for winning BIG BROTHER: I will use my personality, style, gift of gab and cleverness to win Big Brother.
What is the accomplishment you are most proud of? There are so many!  If I have to pick one it would be losing 54 pounds and maintaining my weight loss for the last 15 years.
Finish this sentence: My life’s motto is… some people got IT and some people don’t.  Now go get it.
What would you take into the house and why? My face clippers so I can always stay camera-ready, a treadmill to stay in shape and a laptop so I can stay in touch with my family and friends.
What would you do if BIG BROTHER made you famous? I would show the entertainment world that there are still normal human beings in Hollywood and give back to my hometown, Urbana, Illinois.

Oh my God.  Yikes.  They cast The Ladies Man from SNL on BB this season!!!!  What a special treat!  Seriously though, this guy is the biggest weiner/tool/idiot ever.  From his Saturday Night Fever outfit to his “handsomefied” appearance……just……..wow.  He reminds me of Andrew from last year.  Remember Andrew?  He thought he was ridiculously suave, but really had no social skills and made everyone uncomfortable?  Yeah, that’s this guy.  HANDSOMEXY? Jesus, just kill me now if this guy isn’t voted out immediately.   Although, it will probably be pretty funny to watch his ego deflate more and more over time.  He’s such a caricature that there’s absolutely no way anyone will take him seriously.

Keith, 32

Name: Keith Henderson
Age: 32
Hometown: Bolingbrook, Ill.
Occupation: Human Resources Manager
Three adjectives that describe you: Charming, adorable and kiss-ass
Favorite activities: Working out, hanging out with my friends, dancing, writing poetry, going to church and doing anything spontaneous.
What do you think will be the most difficult part about living inside the BIG BROTHER house? Nothing – I deal with human capital (people) on a regular basis.
Strategy for winning BIG BROTHER: I’m going to use my HR charm to get people to trust and love me and then I will stab them if I need to.  I’ll have the women swooning over me and the guys wanting to be on my team.  It’s the perfect strategy.
Which past BIG BROTHER cast member did you like most or least? I loved BB2 Chill Town, first-ever alliance. 
What would you take into the house and why? My toothbrush, because my smile is key, and a Bible to keep me grounded.

Keith impresses me.  His smile is absolutely infectious and he seems adorable and lovable.  But he’s also got a strategy and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to win.  He seems waaaaay too focused on girls (his favorite player ever is BB8’s Jen because she’s “good to look at”), so hopefully that doesn’t derail him.  I could see him becoming Porsche’s lapdog.  But I like him!

Kalia, 30

Name: Kalia Booker
Age: 30
Hometown: Philadelphia, Pa. (living in Los Angeles)
Occupation: Writer
Three adjectives that describe you: Anyone who can describe themselves in three adjectives is pretty boring but if I have to: dramatic, adventurous and gregarious
Strategy for winning BIG BROTHER: None.  Everybody loves me!  I’ll be there until the end.
Which past BIG BROTHER cast member did you like most or least? I loved Dr. Will.  He played the crap out of everyone and no one knew the wiser.  I loved James for the same reasons.  I also love Janelle because she was super cute, but could back it up by winning competitions.  She should have won the game.
What would you do if BIG BROTHER made you famous? Probably be famous… hang out with Lindsay Lohan or something.

Kalia’s bio says very little about her, so I recommend watching her interview on CBS.com.  I’m really still on the fence about her.  She talks about how manipulative she is and how she’s going to lie to everyone and totally dominate the psychological aspect of the game.  I like that philosophy, but how many people have we seen over the years go in thinking they’re the second coming of Dr. Will, completely overplay their hand in the first couple of weeks and then totally flop (ahem, Ronnie)?  If she really does what she says she’s going to, then I’ll love her, but I expect her to flame out fast.

Dominic, 25

Name: Dominic Briones
Age: 25
Hometown: San Mateo, Calif.
Occupation: College Student at San Francisco State
Three adjectives that describe you: Funny, outgoing and good-hearted
Strategy for winning BIG BROTHER: Build trust, build alliances and make friends.  Together we are strong, apart we fall.  Also, I don’t want to be too strong too soon.  Flying under the radar in the beginning is key.
Which past BIG BROTHER cast member did you like most or least? I like Jeff for sure.  He seemed like a cool dude and played the game well.  Even though he didn’t win, he was well liked and won “America’s Favorite Houseguest.”  I didn’t like Jesse because he was too cocky.
What are you afraid of? I’m afraid of STDs.  Everything else, I can adapt to.
What is the accomplishment you are most proud of? Having amazing relationships with my family and close friends.  Honestly, at the end of my life, that’s what is most important to me.  How many people can say they really love their family?

Dominic is another one I’m on the fence about.  He reminds me of last year’s Hayden, with a dash of douche mixed in.   Overall he seems pretty low-key and laid back, which is always refreshing.  He’s very smart to try to fly under the radar in the beginning, but I hope he knows when it’s time to step up to the plate, which isn’t always easy to figure out.

Cassi, 26

Name: Cassi Colvin
Age: 26
Hometown: Allen, Texas (living in Nashville, Tenn.)
Occupation: Model
Three adjectives that describe you: Stubborn, sincere and funny
Favorite activities: My favorite thing to do is to sit around (preferably outside and with men) and have a couple of beers.
Strategy for winning BIG BROTHER: I’m going to play the same way I live – be sweet and kind to everyone but always remember it’s a game and everyone’s in it for themselves.  My plan is to stay neutral, fly under the radar, don’t be a threat and play well in competitions.
Finish this sentence: My life’s motto is… go hard or not at all.  Suck everything you can out of life and live with no regrets.  Never treat anyone as if they’re less than you because you haven’t walked in their shoes.
What would you do if BIG BROTHER made you famous? Fame has never been something I’ve actively sought out, but if it happened through the show I would absolutely exploit it to the fullest.  It would be a reward and blessing to know I have the tools to always support my family and myself.

At first glance, I have to admit I totally judged Cassi and thought she was going to be an annoying bitch.  But I actually really like her.  She’s very down to earth and she seems like a really nice person.  I can see her going far because she’ll likely be nice to everyone, she’s gorgeous and she has a good strategy.

Adam, 39

Name: Adam Poch
Age: 39
Hometown: East Brunswick, N.J. (living in Hoboken, N.J.)
Occupation: Music Inventory Manager
Three adjectives that describe you: Funny, loud and cuddly
Favorite activities: Concerts, dining out, movies, TV, Broadway plays, hanging with friends and traveling.
Strategy for winning BIG BROTHER: I am a born leader and a very friendly guy, so it will not be hard for me to make friends.  Most of all, I plan to stay cool with as many people as possible so that whoever has power will not view me as a threat.
Which past BIG BROTHER cast member did you like most or least? Like: Evel Dick, Howie, Ronnie, Janelle and Rachel.  Dislike: Cappy, Ivette and that whole Nerd Herd.

I like this guy.  He seems like he’ll be laid back and fun to hang out with, but I sort of get an unstable vibe from him, like if you hurt his feelings he’ll freak out and make everyone uncomfortable.  But if he doesn’t he’ll be great.  I like that he’s a hardcore BB fan, too.

I think this season has a pretty great cast lined up!  I’m very interested to see how they all interact with one another, and who the returnees will be.  The returning duos will definitely throw some wrenches in the newbies’ plans.  Only one more week!