Tag Archives: te tuna

Midterm Progress Reports! 11/2

benedict cochran

Photoshop by Sportsman at SurvivorSucks

Sorry I’m posting this so late, but I had to breathe through a paper bag for a full 24 hours after last night’s tribal.  That will definitely go down in the annals of Survivor’s most memorable tribal councils (right up there with Paschal’s purple rock, Becky’s and Sundra’s pathetic firemaking skills, James being booted with 2 idols, and pretty much every tribal council in Micronesia). We got it all last night–arguments! deception! asinine usage of idols! ties! backstabbing! name-calling! Rick’s mustache! Sophie’s mustache!

Ultimately, I think the right person was booted and Cochran made the right choice in flipping.  He put himself in a terribly, terribly stupid position where he had to burn half the tribe no matter what he did, but Upolu is a way more reliable, solid (read: not retarded) alliance to be a part of than Savaii.  I’m very, very interested to see how Cochran tries to swing this all to his original tribemates.

How everyone is measuring up at this point:

  • Dawn: I really like her and she’s playing a decent game, but she won’t make it to finals.  She has no close allies and she’s far too likable for anyone to want to take her to the end.
  • Ozzy: The worst.  Will never win.  Too stupid, too egocentric, too over-the-top.  Please, please, please, O Survivor gods, let this be his last appearance on the show.
  • Jim: Great strategist, but I think he’s too cutthroat to win jury votes.
  • Keith: Non-entity in the game.  And his stupid compass tattoo bothers me.
  • Whitney: Even less of an entity than Keith.  Nothing comes to mind when I think about her except “southern accent” and “neon bra in the first episode.”
  • Cochran:  Still my favorite, but he screwed himself.  He’s not a physical threat at all (duh), so hopefully he’ll be able to mend fences enough to make it to the end.  I think he lost a lot of jury votes last night, unfortunately.
  • Coach: Megadouche, but he’s in good enough standing with his tribe to make it quite far (he’ll never win, though).
  • Edna: Great strategy, not so great execution sometimes. Probably won’t make it to finals unless Coach is there as well.
  • Albert: Sitting pretty at this point.  He’s a huge threat to make it to the end (and win), which is exactly why he won’t.
  • Brandon: Totally certifiable, but I like him.  He’s well-intentioned and extremely naive, which is appealing as a viewer.  He’s likely to be brought to the end as a goat, but he’ll never win.
  • Sophie: Playing an awesomely subtle game.  She’s in a solid alliance, she’s aggressive but not outwardly so, she’s not a physical threat and she knows how to keep her mouth shut.  There’s a real possibility she’ll win if she makes it.
  • Rick:  I want to see more of him.  I’d vote him most likely to be brought to the end for doing absolutely nothing.

p.s. Te Tuna just might be the worst merge name in the history of the show.  Right up there with Nobag (“It’s Gabon backwards!”).