Rick Speaks! Episode 6 (10/19)

I’m not really going to get into the Redemption Island duel, since it was boring and a waste of time (mostly because I haven’t cared an iota about any duelee so far this season).  Moving on…

Ozzy Fails at Strategy

I love a good blindside.  I especially love when a delusional weenie with a God complex finds out no one respects him (and no, I’m not talking about Coach).  Ozzy really brought the crazy tonight, first trying to calmly reason it out with his tribe.  Only, “I’m now what they call a free agent,” isn’t really reasonable.

Once Ozzy realized that road would lead to nowhere, he switched gears and tried to play the victim.  When Dawn (love her!) called him out for being a hypocrite, Ozzy just lost it.  He blurted out in frustration that he has the hidden immunity idol.

The next day, he realized how screwed he was and tried to spin the whole idol blab as “trying to reunify” with everyone.  In his confessional, he said he was trying to just do his best and “lead by example.”  I’m sorry, Ozzy, what are you leading?  Your alliance of one?  Or your tribe of people who neither like nor respect you?  Cochran said it best: “He’s just behaving like a stupid bitch.”

Mikayla Fails at Slingshots, Life

Mikayla really did suck at the immunity challenge.  And she was a stubborn dumbass for not just dropping out when it became obvious that her coconut-slinging skills were subpar.  If you suck at a challenge, there’s not much you can do other than step aside so the others can get it done.  Refusing to step aside tells the tribe that your ego is more important than teamwork.

I’ve never liked Mikayla.  I think she’s whiny, not all that intelligent, and she’s yet to make me laugh at all.  Plus, she gave Brandon a tingly feeling in his privates, although I guess I can’t really hold that against her, since that’s about the only entertainment she’s brought to the season.  I’m not at all disappointed Mikayla got voted out.  I’m just happy they kept Edna.  I like Edna.  She knows exactly how to kiss Coach’s ass.  I hope she makes it far.

Other Notes

  • Coach, when considering whether he should tell Brandon about the idol, said “Is witholding information lying?  It’s a gray area.”  HOW OLD ARE YOU?!
  • Rick is no longer invisible!  How exciting!  Although I must say, his voice is disappointingly un-twangy.
  • I love Edna’s makeshift visor.  It appears to be made out of a treemail and a string.  It makes me laugh every time I see it.  It’s just so ridiculous looking.
  • Brandon, when trying to tell Jeff that the next challenge was crucial to Upolu’s success post-merge, said “This next challenge is detrimental to the way this game turns out.”  It’s OK, Brandon.  Words are hard.
  • Edna’s little vote confessional to Mikayla was possibly the best I’ve ever heard.  As she held up Mikayla’s name, she said, “I hope your time here has helped your future modeling career.”  Edna, you passive-aggressive bitch!  Brilliant!

Taste the Victory 10/12

Survivor: South Pacific delivered yet again last night.  They’re showing significantly less Redemption Island footage this season, allowing for more time to develop the plot in the “real” game.  Whether this was an intentional format change or simply a coincidence, I don’t know.  But I like it.

Redemption Island

The episode started out with Stacey and Christine griping on RI.  Stacey is a bitter bitch, but she makes me laugh.  She said her tribe was “going to hell with gasoline drawers on,” for chrissake.  Where does she come up with this stuff?  Once she got into her whole “Benjamin” speech at the duel, though, it became apparent that she’s legitimately off her rocker and should probably be medicated.  Her one-liners will be missed.

Coach “Don’t Call Me Benjamin” Wade

Coach seems to have erased a lot of his progress this week.  For the past few episodes he’s been coming across as a lot more mature, sane, and likable than past seasons.  But last night, Coach was back to doing Coach things (calling himself “Dragon” after finding the idol, for example).  It’s only a matter of time before the stories about pygmy cannibals start up again.  Sigh.

Middle-Aged Ozzy

Over on Savaii, Ozzy continues to prove that he’s learned nothing from his past failures in this game.  He’s still the same old judgmental, narcissistic guy he always was, only now he’s older and less in-shape.  He really thought he was running the game up until Elyse was blindsided, and I was happy to see him knocked down a few pegs. I can’t wait to see how that whole storyline unfolds next week, and I’m sure he’ll be needing his hidden immunity idol soon enough.

Whose Meat Weighs the Most?

The immunity challenge made the middle schooler in me giggle.  It was one “That’s what she said” after another.  Who doesn’t love a good inadvertent penis joke (or twenty)?  Both teams fought hard to fit the most meat in their mouths (teehee), but ultimately, Upolu’s meat was more massive (haha) and they won immunity.  They also won reward, which consisted of spices, veggies, and all 22 pounds of regurgitated meat from the challenge.  Yum.

Coch-Train Survives Again

While I would have loved to see Ozzy go last night, Savaii needs to keep their tribe strong until the merge, so Elyse was the next best thing.  I think they made a wise decision.  I do, however, think that Keith & Whitney were dumb to vote for Dawn.  I know they were trying to avoid ruffling any feathers, but being non-committal like that often has the opposite effect. They’ve made it clear that they’re not really loyal to either side, and wild cards can be perceived as very threatening in this game.

I’ll be interested to see who wins the duel next week.  I’m also very excited to see how Ozzy handles the realization that he’s not running the game anymore.  I can’t wait for next week’s episode!

Survivalism (10/5)

This season is really off to a great start.  I love the cast, and while I’m not crazy about Redemption Island, so far it hasn’t been too much of a hassle.  Last night’s episode was action-packed!

Brandon Rides the Crazy Train

I actually feel bad for Brandon.  It’s obvious he has a shady past and is still struggling to figure it all out–he has no business being on Survivor.  I think it’s hilarious, though, that all of his tribemates keep comparing him to Russell.  The fact of the matter is that Brandon and Russell have nothing in common (except, perhaps, for their mutual resemblance to a Tolkien character).  Brandon is obviously trying to do no wrong, but that’s virtually impossible in a game like Survivor.  He’s making himself look like a lunatic and it’s kind of embarrassing to watch.

I did love when Coach essentially told Brandon to shut the eff up.  Coach actually has some sense this season.  How the hell did that happen?  He’s stopped trying to be a caricature and started acting like an amicable, cool guy.  I actually feel like I might even like Coach.  I can’t believe I just typed those words.

Papa Bear Goes Home

It was sad to see Papa Bear lose the duel.  He had potential to be a very interesting character.  It particularly pained me to see him lose to Miss Personality herself, Christine, who just might have the worst case of stinkface I’ve ever seen.  She just seems like such an unhappy person.  I hope she doesn’t last on Redemption Island, but then again, her newest opponent (Stacey) is even worse.

Edna Tries Too Hard

I felt bad for Edna last night, too.  She got a bad rap.  She seems like a sweet lady who’s just a little clueless.  I don’t think she’s as hated on her tribe as they tried to make it seem, though.  I noticed that the only people who said anything negative about Edna were Stacey and Mikayla, both colossal bitches.  Stacey’s argument against Edna was that she talks too much.  OK, maybe she does. But I think they need to cut the poor girl some slack.

I think Stacey said it best when she said this about Edna: “Bones on bones can’t…Bones cant lift too much if it’s all skeleton with the bones.”  Well said, Stacey.

Dawn Kicks Ass, Stacey Gets Booted

The Immunity challenge last night is a classic Survivor challenge.  It’s one of my favorites because it always reminds me of Giles Corey.  Dawn desperately needed a boost to her self-confidence, and she got it last night.  She’s shaping up to be a really interesting character.

Of course, that meant Upolu lost the challenge, and Stacey’s abundantly cheerful demeanor got her voted out of the tribe.  Really, though, is it any surprise that she’s a mortician?  Her social skills and ability to form intelligible sentences are both severely lacking.  She’s not exactly a charmer, is she?

Other Notes

  • How hilarious were Brandon’s faces in this challenge?  He looked like he busted a night and/or pooped his pants.
  • Speaking of Brandon, have you noticed that his occupation on the show is listed as “Russell Hantz’s newphew”?  I wonder if that comes with dental.
  • Jim’s teeth really are “suspiciously white,” don’t you think?
  • I’d really like to hear more from the so-far invisible people (Ron Swanson Rick, Keith, Albert, Whitney)
  • I’m dying to find out what Coach’s big hangup is about being called Benjamin, and why everyone else in the game then proceeded to call him Benjamin.

See ya next week!

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